Parental fibbing

I’ve been brooding on this one for a while, for wen there would be a week without a good dream or adventure. Today I’ll tell you about the ‘innocent’ lies my parents told when I grew up. But I’ll start of with a practical joke my father pulled when I was very young.

As kinds we drank a lot of milk. I still love the stuff. My father drank buttermilk most of the time. As a kid you don’t see the difference, especially when the glass it’s in is still full. One day my father figured it would be fun to switch our glasses, so I to a big gulp thinking I had milk….. It was awful! Let’s finish this by telling you I didn’t wager a glass of milk for a very long time. You never know when butter was put in front of the word.

To get us to confess to things we did or didn’t do my parents had two tricks. The first one…. Whenever we had answered a question, and they had a very strong suspicion we hadn’t told the truth, example, did you brush your teeth, yes (no, I was playing, but I’m not gonna tell you), they told us to lift our bangs. Why? Because when you lie a cross appears on your forehead. When we would say we never saw it we got told only adults could. Of course that was it! Always hide your forehead if you’re not telling the truth!

Sometimes the forehead thing wouldn’t work. This trick was used for bigger stuff, like who used my mum’s paint to enhance the bedroom walls, or deface them, depending on if you were us or our parents. If we wouldn’t talk, and we were tough to crack, I’ll tell you that, my mum told us to get our coats. That’s the point we started sweating! Not our coats, that meant only one thing: we were going to the police department. If we wouldn’t tell her, well than the cops would have to figure things out. The horror!!!!! We didn’t want to be put in jail for our mischief, so the truth would be told in a hurry. Not jail, everything but jail.

Then there was the innocent lie to keep us from picking our noses. They told us things could go horribly wrong if you pick your nose, because if you hit the wrong spot your nose would melt of. Not fast, but slowly, you would lose it. You don’t want to know how many time I put my fingers on my nose to check if the thing was still there. Not just after picking my nose, but many times in between, just to make sure it was still there.

Then there was the fun lie my dad told us. He liked mischief a lot, so he told us not to swallow pits from oranges or mandarins. If we would it could result in a tree in our tummies. Every time I accidentally swallowed one of those pits I got frightened if I had a stomach ache right after. That would be the tree growing. It wouldn’t take long for branches and leaves to come out of my ears and nose!

There might be people thinking: that’s horrible! You don’t frighten a kid like that. Well I’ll tell you those are fond memories for me. My parents did everything they could to give me a terrific childhood. As far as I’m concerned they succeeded

Love dreamer