It starts with a lovely dinner

So I was invited to this lovely dinner with a group of people and my partner and good friend of mine were to, so that should be fun!

There were three tables. One for seven people, one for six people and one small table for 4 kids.

We were the first ones to arrive, so we could pick were we wanted to sit, but I figured that would sort itself so I talked to our hostess. She had organised a bicycle race a while back and I had taken part in it (definitely not won it). The person that had been the favourite to win it lost as well, because both she and I collided. I got disqualified, because of an illegal manoeuvre. There had been a lot of witnesses that told our hostess that I had pinned the favourite against a wall to stop her from winning, and in doing so it was said I had caused the collision between the both of us.

Somehow, there had not been time to discuss it back then, so we talked about it now. She was the one that told me I had pinned the favourite, but it was only at this dinner that I found out she had not seen this, but it had been told to her by witnesses of the crash.

Time to set the record straight. I had been behind the favourite, far enough not to collide but gaining. The moment I was close enough to pass without collision she pulled her bicycle to the left, right into me. I was able to keep my bike riding, but she fell and couldn’t finish the race.

Our hostess was shocked. The favourite had been the one that should have been expelled, nog me. She apologized profoundly. I told her it was oké.

While we were talking the room filled up with the other dinner guests. I had been squatting next to the chair of the hostess and it was time to find a place to sit. Only one place left. At the head of the table set for seven. (Seeing the room fill up awakened my anxiety for I didn’t know anyone other than my partner, my good friend and our hostess. It seemed I would end up getting seated with strangers, and I did). Another dinner guest that had taken a seat next to the one left for me started filling up my glass with water. He was having fun and getting laughs from everyone around him. There was already bread on the plates and the water started spilling onto my plate. I ran to my seat to see if I could control the damage ( I hate wet bread), but it was too late. I emptied my plate onto that of the man that was joking around. Both water and bread were for him, I wasn’t planning on eating/drinking it.

We were all having a good time. We talked, we laughed, dinner was wonderful. Slowly but surely I started piecing together that people that had wanted to tell the truth at the race had been ‘bullied’ into saying I had pinned the favourite of the race. When dinner was over we went into the village. It was a small village we don’t often visit, so it was nice to take time to walk around. Then people started to try and kill us! They didn’t like that the truth about the race came to light and wanted to make sure we knew. My partner and friend got caught and tied up. I got to where they were. Don’t ask me why, but somehow I had a gas burner on my key chain. One of those things you use for making desserts. I took it out and pointed it at the man that was guarding them. I set his hair on fire and he left screaming. I quickly untied the others. The place is swarming with people trying to kill us. We needed to get the hell out of there!

My partner figured out how. We needed to participate in race where we need to get to the top of some kind of tower, made out of nets, in order to get ‘flung out’ by being the first ones to reach top. Sort of like a video game. If you are the first to reach the top, you win or get to a second stage. That would be the way out of this village. My partner knew a cheat to get to the top of the tower first. We somehow dodged over twenty hitmen to get to the tower. This tower was build underground, but my partner knew we would be able to see the top from above ground, so we could jump on the top net. We got there, took the jump and indeed landed on the top net. Now we would have to hold on long enough to win. That wasn’t easy, because the whole tower swayed like crazy. Somehow we managed and won! Turned out that was not the end of the game, there was a next stage.

We started the next stage on our own in the streets. Normal streets, where people lived. We had been split up somehow. I didn’t know where the others were, so I ran for my life without knowing where to go, one of the hitmen hot on my tail. I somehow managed to take him out and started running again. My phone rang, the sound was that of the ringtone I have set for my partner, who is nowhere in sight. I see my friend straight ahead, running towards me. Suddenly my partner comes from my left telling us to get in a tree we are near at that point. We climbed tree. Several hitmen run past it without noticing us. A strange thing, because the tree has barren branches, but hé, don’t question good luck. One of the men that was trying to kill us somehow had wings and flied up to the tree. He tried to shoot us, but my friend somehow turned out to be an archer and had a bow and arrows. My friend shot two arrows to disarm the winged man and put a third through one of his wings. He fell to the ground and disappeared. The voice of a commentator (like those at sports events) announced to the spectators that the winged contestant was out of the game.

We needed to go on so we climbed out of the tree and ran to a house about ten paces to our right. We went through the door and closed it. Somehow the inside of the house looked more like a cave. There was this huge gate around the tower (this time it was made of stone and actually looked like a tower). I was the first one to walk through the gate. It  started to close and I tried to keep it open with all my might, so the other two would be able to get in with me. The got in just in time. With the gate closed we felt sort of safe, there was only this sort of cat flap to get through the gate now. At the base of the tower was a puzzle to solve. There were numbers that needed to be connected to right stones to get path across small body of water and go up. All of a sudden the head of a teacher peeks in from the top of the tower. He gave a hint to solving the puzzle. I could only wonder if we would walk into a classroom once we made it to the top. The man said that the numbers keep the same order. Great, now we could solve it, I hoped. One of the numbers, the number four, had a line that connected it to one of the stones. I looked around if I could see a way to get that number on the right stone and suddenly noticed chalk pens on the ground to my left. They were lying underneath a radiator. I picked up as many colours as I could, because the numbers have colours to and who knows, we might need them later on. I put first number on stone ‘connected’ stone. Writing the four on the stone proves difficult. (I don’t know if you have ever tried to put a number like 4 or seven into a handheld Nintendo? When I try to write it down the damn thing always takes about three tries to get the right number into the system.) Now  registers with difficulty, but gets there (like Gameboy). Now we had to figure out where the other numbers had to go. I asked my partner and my friend to stop joking around and start help me figure things out. We were still puzzling when I woke up.

I am still wondering wat would have been waiting for us at the top, I tried desperately to get back to sleep so I could finish the puzzle. Strange though…. I could actually see the number four. It was the only one, and with difficulty, but normally in dreams numbers and letters can’t be registered. That’s how you determine you are dreaming and how you can take over and start to have a lucid dream. Maybe that’s why I could only see the four and why it was so difficult to put it on the stone in a way you could make out it was a four. Dang it, that is going to hunt me all day. Well I hope you have enjoyed my dream. I sure did, even though it was quite a dangerous event.



Away for rehearsal

Yesterday was a fun day. I’ve spent the day with my acting group. Normally we het together on wednesday evening to rehearse. On of is had to travel about an hour and a half just to get to rehearsal. That’s not including the return trip and when travel conditions are at their best. She must truly love doing this!!!! And she does. Well last wednesday we didn’t het together, but agreed to all get to her house for rehearsal!

Saturday morning, about ten past nine I got picked up, one more stop for picking up someone else and we would be on our way! Since we would be staying untill after diner, we would have so much time to slowly work through the whole script. It felt good.

There was a warm welcome upon arriving and a lovely lunch not to long after. It was a day of being spoiled by good food and drinks and loads of laughter. You see, we will be performing a play by Alan Ayckbourn and it is hilarious. At least we think so. Slowly but surely we are getting to the desired outcome. We have a lot of fun in the proces.

It’s a good thing to ge all of our laugther out now, because it might prove difficult to keep a straight face on stage, so advice is welcome! I am so lucky to get to do this with such a warm group of people. The Day flew by. Well it will be wednesday soon, happy days…

Love, dreamer

Super cat?

I’ve been to my mum last Thursday. The reason for going was threefold. 1. See mum again. 2. Show of the car and 3. See how my mum is holding up, because her brother has received a diagnoses of cancer. Heavy stuff, I know, but I am not going to dwell on it in this blog. Please just let me stick my head in the sand and just be there for my mum, thank you.

My mum has gotten a cat after my dad died, so she won’t be so alone when she’s at home and there’s someone there to say hello to when she walks is. I think it is a good thing. It is a lovely cat. As you might know cats have an aggressive way of playing with you. They use their claws and teeth to win. That’s fine by me, but my mum doesn’t want the cat to do that, because when he does that with her… her skin has become thinner or something, so she bleeds easily. If the cat plays with other people he wants to play with her to, and that’s not a good idea, so he can’t play with people, just toys and stuff. This cat turns out to be a dog by the way. Throw away a ball of paper and he brings it back to you. He brought mum a ball to throw when we were there.

I didn’t know about the cat not playing with people, so while on the phone (because my brother called) I was playing with the cat. It didn’t take long or all nails dug in my arm and all teeth dug in my wrist. If I lifted my arm, the cat would lift along. Nothing I couldn’t handle, but I can understand my mum doesn’t want that to happen to her. So she did the thing she does when the cat starts to play. She pushed him to the ground until he stopped, showing him she is the leader. It worked. I had quite a brilliant mark of his teeth on my wrist after that.

So Peter Parker got spider powers after he got bitten by a spider…. Do I get cat powers now?

I already know how to purr, my friends mum once said his cat was purring loudly, but that was me, so funny…. You should have been there. So how about the rest, do I become a human cat now? The mark on my wrist suggested I will become a superhero, so when things start happening I’ll let you know…. On the other hand….. O man, why did I put this in a blog!!! A handful of people will immediately link me to our new superhero! Ok, let’s agree not to tell anyone about this. If I turn into a superhero, you guys are part of the secret. Don’t spill the secret ok. If I go off on adventures you guys will get the report through this blog. Hardly anyone reads it, so I don’t think the bad guys or governments will find out.

It would make for a great content of my blog as well. Although I wouldn’t like the life or death choices that much. I think I will be heartbroken with the first person I can’t safe…. Hmmm. I guess I’d have to think about a lot of things. A secret lair, tech support (I am technically challenged), an outfit, do I want to operate worldwide, would I be able to keep working where I work now. O my…. I think I’m happy to say I haven’t felt a change yet, but when it happens I am going to need some help, so…… be ready when I call on you.



Am I becoming the same as my brother?

Hi everyone, sorry for being absent, inspiration has been low, and last week I was in bed with a migraine, because of stress. “Stress?” you say. Yes stress, because of the fixing up of the bathroom that is going to cost so much more than we can spend, but you don’t need to worry about that, me and my partner will. Let’s just hope I won’t have migraines until it is done, because that could mean a lot of them. But, we’ll see.

Back to this week’s blog, it is late I admit, but it is here at last! And the title, well that has to do with a BBQ I had on Saturday, but let me start by explaining my brother to you. One of my brothers is just like me, we have Peter Pan syndrome, sort of. We just won’t grow up. Both of us like doing things kids normally do and both of us feel a lot better around kids than adults, because most kids are more spontaneous and open than adults are. I can handle myself when I am with people my own age, but that is by wearing a mask, because most of them feel ashamed of me when I show who I am inside, or the just don’t know how to handle it. My brother is even better at just being him, because as far as I can see, it truly doesn’t bother him when people don’t get it.

My brother is a lot older than I am, he could have been my dad if you just look at age, and I can’t remember anything different than having a lot of fun with him. Every birthday he would take us kids outside and play with us, we felt great with him around. Now that I am officially an adult myself and kids come to birthdays at my house with their parents (my friends) my brother still does the same thing he used to do with us. He goes to the playgrounds near my house (no crossing streets necessary to get there) and keeps the kids occupied. The adults love it, who wouldn’t, being at a party without having to keep an eye on your kid, just enjoy yourself.

The thing that makes me mad though, most adults that come to parties my brother is at as well make the assumption my brother will take the kids of their hands. Why make that assumption, why not let him enjoy the party hanging around with us as well? My brother has told me he would like to sometimes, so it shouldn’t be a given that he takes care of every kid around. I love my brother and I feel ashamed when I feel ashamed for him in public just for being himself. I should be proud that he truly is who he is. I know how to where most social masks, he knows how to where a couple. I have had so many great times with my brother, just because he doesn’t care. I love him so much for that.

Well the becoming the same doesn’t take too much, just drop some masks and I’m there, but I will keep those masks, because they help you get places in life. Sot back to the BBQ I had on Saturday. It was with a group of friends. My partner is part of a group of five friends. Three of them have kids and the evening started with us adults talking to each other and the kids having fun at the playground after they had eaten. The whole day rain had been coming down hard, so it was a relief that we could BBQ outside, no rain. After about an hour and a half I guess we had fifteen more minutes of rain, so we took the things with food in or on it inside and left the plates and stuff outside. BBQ done, but that was ok, we had eaten a lot, so we could last a while. After some time one of the kids asked if the BBQ-ing was done, because she wanted ice-cream. The adults could agree with wanting ice-cream, so the cones came from the fridge. Some more talking got done (the rain had stopped) and the kids asked about marshmallows. Could the ‘roast’ some on the BBQ. Sure they could!

This is where the kid in me came out! I had been helping bringing the plates and stuff in, but then I took time to get a marshmallow with the kids (all mums joined). It was a lot of fun and soooooo goooooooooooooood! One of the mums went in very soon after ‘roasting’ marshmallows, the other two and I started playing with the two girls that where at the BBQ. They had a ball and where trying to get it between everyone’s legs. Just minutes before when we were inside we saw the men doing the same and talked about the bad example they set by playing ball near the BBQ, now we were doing the same, but we sure had fun. Another mum decided to go inside. Two girls and two ‘woman’ left. We played around with the ball some more. In the end it was just me and the girls left. Then one of the boys came out. Long story short, I have been out with the kids ever since the marshmallows and I felt reluctant to go inside to talk with the grownups again. It felt so safe being out with the kids. So I stayed and ‘played’. At some point the kids got called inside to go to bed, I had to get in. I didn’t mind, it’s not like I can’t handle being with people my age afterward. All in all I had a good time, both with the adults and the kids. I apologised for staying outside with the kids and not helping with cleaning up the mess. The ‘hosting’ mum told me that was ok, after all I kept the kids busy, that helps a lot as well. Afterward when I lay in my bed I thought about that. I am becoming more and more like my brother. I don’t know if it is socially accepted, but I have to say it feels good to me. And if I get to be like my brother, that is something to be very, very proud about, because it is rare to come across someone so honest and open. Lucky for me I know more people like that, not just my brother, but he was the first I knew. I hope you have a friends like that as well and you feel free to be you. As I said before, the world would be a lot more colourful if we could just be ourselves without the judgement always being there!


Bride, cars and bathrooms,

Well hello there! This week the blog goes all over the place. Three topics, so no juicy story about a bride escaping through a bathroom window to escape a wedding in a fast car (yes that is a reference to a sitcom). No three different topics, so lets go!

Nope, my partner did not propose, I am nog getting married (or my partner knows something I don’t, but I don’t think so). No this is a follow up on last my blog from last week. Remember? The refugee from Africa. He was actually there when I walked out of the office on Friday. I didn’t think he would, but he was, so I had to deal with it. I said hi, keeping my distance. I am a hugger, normally, but not this time, not appropriate, or at least I didn’t think it was. If you disagree, keep it to yourself. Those are my boundaries I have to think of, not yours.

We went to the same park as before, sat down on the same bench as before and continued the same talk we had before. He kept giving me compliments, trying to find out if I would ever leave my partner. I told him: “not even when hell freezes over”, but that didn’t seem to register. He kept talking about relationships ending, how good of a partner he would be to the person committing to him and how beautiful I am and how perfect I would be for him. He would never find someone like me again, so sure, he was disappointed I have a partner. I let him talk, I talked to him and brought the conversation to him getting his social security number. I tried not to make it to obvious, but let’s be real, he needed something from me, of he would not have come. That or I have a stalker from now on and need to be more careful in future, but I guess that’s not the case. When talking to a dear friend of mine she told me her partners reaction was: “he want to marry to stay in the country”. I had come to the same conclusion, so the bride part is…. I could have been an African bride! I am not that sad that I’m not though, because I love my partner more than anything in the world, so when the man asked my contact information I told him “no”, because I am not going to string him along for something I won’t give him. I had two lovely days with an opportunity to speak English, he wasted some time, enough is enough. As far as I know he has not started stalking me (knock on wood).


So my partner and I have a car. We didn’t plan on getting a new one, but things happen. Fortunate for us, nothing bad happened, we just received a flyer from our dealership. It stated an amount we could probably get for our old car and how much a new car would cost us. We took the bait. We started talking about it and before long we went to the dealer to take a look. The offer was for an upgrade on our current model, but we decided we wanted information on a different model. That in itself would be an upgrade, so we wanted to compare the offer we got in the mail to the different model we had in mind. We got the information, slept on it for about three days. The dilemma was: go for comfort (the upgrade by choosing the other model) or go for low expenses (by choosing our current model upgraded). We both sort of knew the car we wanted, but still. We went for the other model, we can afford it, let’s ‘grow up’ and choose comfort. Today we went in (after getting the financing worked out) and asked when we can pick it up. It will take over two weeks because the salesman would like to be there when we pick it up. I heard him mumble he is on vacation between today and the date we set to pick up the car. So there we are, waiting on a car, because the salesman wants to see how happy it makes us to pick it up. Well if his life depends on these highlights, than I can wait for my car a bit longer, because that’s sad, isn’t it. I am glad I can give him a happy moment.


There are a couple of things in your life that cost a lot of money. One of those things: bathrooms. Especially when your strength isn’t fixing you home. At some point I noticed circles on the ceiling in the hallway, caused by water that should have travelled through pipes instead of the floor. I know nothing about fixing plumbing and stuff like that. When we bought the house the leakage should have been stopped by the previous owner, or so we thought. His solution turned out to be sealant around the shower drain, but you can’t clean a sealed drain, so obviously, we made the mistake to unseal it. Now we have to ‘repair’ the leak. That will take braking tiles and stuff like that. We figured we would have to take care of the bathroom at some point, so now is the time. We are going to renovate. Take everything out, put new stuff in. This bathroom will be to our taste (and budget, sorry to say, but still beautiful for a low budget). The thing I am upset about most: losing our bath. A bath I don’t use that often, because the put  the side your head goes against the wall, so your neck needs to be in an angle if you want to lie down. Plus the bath is smaller than usual, because of the restricted space, and everything had to be fit in (shower/bath/sink/toilet), without having to shower in the tub. Every time I took a bath a large part of me never got wet, because it didn’t fit under water. I was hoping to get a bath you can sit in, so it would take up less room, but I could still relax. As you might have figured, we are not putting in a bath again. We already made a down payment on everything that is going into our new bathroom (including tiles) and now we are looking for someone to put it in for a nice price (wouldn’t it be nice if we had an endless supply of money). We’ll see…..

Well that’s it for now.


Chance meeting?

First of all, last week I didn’t post a blog. You have a right to know why. Last week I just didn’t feel like it. I had something else on my mind. Not just something, an important something for me and something that kept me from writing, because I needed to handle myself and my emotions. Thursday the 20th two years ago my dad died. It hit harder than the year before, so…. Well on to this week 😀

At the moment it is quite hot outside and it has been for a couple of days. Because of the heat I have decided to start work early this week, this way it was still quite cool when I rode my bike to work and I would be home in time to turn on the mobile air conditioner in our bedroom for it to cool down enough to be able to sleep.

On Wednesday I decided to go to a store that had a sale because it would close its doors in the town I work in before getting on my bike to go home. I left the building and crossed the street, ready to cross the next street hit this store. A man crossed the road from the other side and walked up to me. He looked at me and I felt he wanted to talk to me, so I slowed down, looked him in the eye, gave him a smile and a nod and waited for his response. He slowed down as well. I was right he wanted to talk. I figured he wanted to ask for directions or something, but that’s where I was wrong. Instead he asked where I was going and if he could tag along…. in English…..

A weird request, but I was in public, not going home, so why not, he could tag along, I would go to this one store and back to my bike. It would give him company for about twenty minutes and it would give me a way to talk English, win-win I guessed. He asked for my name and gave me his. We started talking. He asked where I was from, I told him (take a deep breath, I wasn’t dump enough to give him my address or last name). He was surprised, he thought I would be English because of my accent (I know, you wouldn’t say the same when reading my blog :D) and I felt good about that. Flattery does feel good for your ego. He had already given me a compliment on how good I looked ( I know, be careful with such ‘stray cats’) so I felt quite good at that time. We talked while walking to the store, I told him I was going to ask him something I hoped wouldn’t offend and wasn’t meant as a bad thing. After that I asked if he was a refuge, yes he was.

It turned out I should have gone to the store weeks ago, because there was nothing left to my liking. I felt bad to leave the man behind, I had some time to spare, so I asked him if he would like to sit down somewhere and talk some more. He would love to. So we went to a nearby park (loads of people every step of the way) in search of a place to sit in the shade. We found a bench, but someone had broken a beer bottle on it. The man or maybe rather boy (I don’t know how old he is) swept the bench clear with some plastic he found nearby and we took a seat. We talked about all kinds of things. He told me he had been playing football, but had to stop because of injuries. Now he was studying and killing time before he would meet up with a friend of his. He talked about wanting a relationship where both parties would trust each other and how he would do anything to keep the other happy. He talked about coming to Europe to get away from catholic/Muslim wars back where he grew up. We talked about a lot.

I told him I have a partner I want to grow old with. He asked if I still felt like that after meeting him. YES. Nothing will ever change as far as I am concerned at the moment. After being together for seventeen years I still feel butterflies when I think about them. The man referred to relationships that had lasted longer and still got broken off somewhere down the road.  I told him not to hold is breath (but in a gentler way). He asked for my number so we could meet again somewhere in the future to talk. I didn’t give it to him, but I agreed to meet again on Friday, on the corner we first met.

I have mixed feelings about this. I don’t want to mistrust him, after all, he doesn’t have to be a bad person. That’s why I agreed to meet him again. I actually don’t trust him. I don’t feel his intentions are as innocent as he says, so I will be careful, but I don’t want to close myself for new friends. After all, if we can all act a bit more out of love instead of fear, the world would be more beautiful. That’s why I decided to follow love instead of fear. And no… he won’t get my phone number or address, but he will have my attention for an extra afternoon. I will keep you posted on that 😀

Maybe I am crazy, but I would rather get hurt or die when the things I did came out of love, so let it spread.




So last week you got the story of my trip to France.

The other supporter I told you about is someone I had just met, so it gave me some extra nerves in going away with the group.Turns out there was no need to be nervous, because the other supporter is a very kind and loving person. This person also made a comment that gave me something for this blog.They said I have a different way of looking at things. This is true, even though most of the times I forget that.

This came up because of the snow on the mountaintops. As you can see, the heading of this blog is the same mountain range I used in my last blog. The view from our broom closet. Why did I do this. To show you the state of my imagination. I’ve zoomed in on some parts and put those zooms here. The last zoom is something I just noticed, but I’ll put it in none the less.

In this blog I’ll give an assignment. You can choose is you want to participate, because the answers will be given to you in the end:

Can you find where all the zooms go in the overview?
I’ll put the overview here once more:

Zoom 1: Can you find the crying child?

Zoom 2: Can you find the cool troll?

Zoom 3: Can you find the exotic face?

Zoom 4: Can you find the silhouette of a woman’s head and a fancy lady?

Zoom 5: Can you find the creepy face (the one I just noticed)?

Zoom 6: Can you find the alien and the monster?

So this is me, this is my imagination. If I see shapes, my head tries to fill in the blanks. I see things hidden in shades, clouds, leaves and apparently snow on mountain tops. On our way home I even made a photo of a cloud, send it to my family app telling them the mountain had my dad’s eyebrows. And since I am sharing so many pictures, you get this mountain as a bonus 😀

Well that’s it, my imagination. Hope you liked it!

And I promised you the answers, so if you participated, you can find out if you did well and if you didn’t participate and want to know the answers you can see them.

The placement of the zooms in the overview

Crying child

Cool troll

Exotic face

Silhouette and fancy lady

Creepy face

Alien and monster

If you still can’t make anything of it, I can’t blame you. That’s just more proof of how crazy I am.