Time flies

Another week has past already!!!!
Time flies……
Oke here I go….

Another week has past already!!!!
Time flies……

So last week I told you there was a lot to tell since I had been busy with my studies.
Yeah, there was….. but my memory you know.
Sometimes you’d think I should live in a retirement home.
I don’t remember the things I wanted to tell you.
I know, I should have written it down, but…. Yeah lazy, remember.
Oooo wait, there it is…. One of the things to tell, I remembered!!!!
I feel sooooooo happy 😀

Oke here I go….

Ever heard of fear of heights? I am afraid of those things. Not just when you are up really really high, but even when you are just at 1st floor. Now I have gathered there are different ways to interpret that, depending on where you live, so let me elaborate…. First floor for me is just one floor up from street level.

At work the genius architect decided it would be stylish to have the first floor stop about midway (just the bit of first floor that is directly above the entry hall), where you get al railing and you can look out over the ground floor. The building consists of three towers, of which two are in use for office space. To get from one tower to the other you have to cross this nice HALF first floor. I NEVER looked down because man, I start sweating and getting cold when I did that. When I walk there I always look at the ceiling. The architect had another bright idea though…. The part where you cross directly over the counter where guests report is just a bridge. You have open space besides you at both sides!!!!!!! Again, I looked at the ceiling while passing over it.

A friend of mine agreed to help me get rid of that fear, or at least try to. You know what they say right… face your fears. And so I did, we went climbing in the trees. Not just any trees.

These where especially prepared to be climbed. You did a whole track, way up high in the trees, from platform to platform. Crossing ropes, logs, barrels and zip lines. In other words…. HELL.

So this friend and I went there, we were given a harness to put on, they checked if it was safe and put the zip line reel and a double safety clip on it and we were sent into the forest. While still on the ground they told us the basics on how to use the zip line and the safety clips. Those clips where made in such a way they could never be open at the same time, and since the cable you attached yourself to would not disappear until you reached the ground again, where there was a nail at the back of the ladder on which you could close one clip, that could than easily be taken of the nail, to open the other clip and you would be free, you would always be secured. In other words, if we would fall/fail, the clips would keep us up in the trees.

So we started with a training track consisting of three trees, so two crossings, one of which a zip line. The loge bridge was oke, just look forward, not down. Then the zip line. O shit…. I have to lose any hold underneath my feet. It took me a while, but I did it. The harness gives you something to ‘sit’ in, so after a while I even learned to enjoy those things!

We have crossed from tree to tree, passing ropes and logs and getting very tired. So tired in fact that in the end I had to stand still after every step I took, because my right leg had to stop trembling. Now since I don’t want to make this blog to long (may be one day I will elaborate, but not today) I will just tell you about the hardest part of the track.

My friend really wanted to do this, so we went to a part where you have to attach your clips to two bunches of though elastic ropes and jump. When you jump you zip over two line (hence two bunches of ropes), just like you would on the zip line. You end up in this giant net of ropes that has been put up between two trees (almost like a spiders web, if it would be made of rectangles) where you have to climb up, there you can put your clips on a new safety line and you have to choose if you want to continue the track on your right or left, and climb to that tree. Sounds easy enough when I tell you, but to do this…..

So we reach the platform with the two bunches of ropes, I hook up to them (keep in mind, you cannot exit the track until you have reached the end and turning back is no option, because more people are behind you) and I get ready to jump (height is about two floors above ground level). I tell myself to jump, but nothing happens. It is counter intuitive to jump into nothing. There was nothing to hang on to, because those ropes where going to stretch, so a no go to hold on to. I decided, maybe I have enough courage to jump if I sit down first. So I sat. NOPE!!! Standing up again, sitting down again. Telling my partner I love him and sorry for dying if this would have been the case (and no, he was not there). Telling myself to jump….. I just could not. I told my friend he would have to push me for us to move forward, because I would not be able to jump.

He did not need encouragement an pushed (he loved he could). I screamed my lungs out (at least that is how I feel I went along the cables) and ended up in the rope net. I thought the hard part was over. Guess again…. It gives way under your weight!!! It took me ages to get up to the anchoring line (and you need to get there, otherwise you can’t get you clips free of the rope bunches). I wished I would have been able to climb down at that point, but I made it to the next platform. Proud to be there I needed some time to catch my breath.

As is obvious, since I am still able to write, I survived, with the words ‘never again!’

I have had aching muscles for three days and both my arms where full of bruises, but it has worked! At least some, because I don’t need to look at the ceiling anymore if I need to get to the other tower at work.

I had an adventure, cured (at least a bit) of my fear of heights and had an awesome time with one of my best friends. What more do you want 😀

Love dreamer


After ages and ages,

Hi there, I am very sorry it has been ages since I last wrote.
What kind of course takes less than two months you might ask. I decided to share this part with you as well,

Hi there, I am very sorry it has been ages since I last wrote. Yes the title refers to those ages, not real ones, sorry again.
This time I do have a good excuse though!

Remember the course I told you about. I took it…… and I got my diploma!!!

What kind of course takes less than two months you might ask. I decided to share this part with you as well, hoping you don’t think I’m a freak afterward.
At least not more of a freak than you already know I am.

Let me start of keeping it a bit of a mystery still, the answer will be in this piece, I promise.
The course is for something I have been wanting to do since I have been about 14. I could not get an education in it then, because it was one of those things you have to learn in practice and then you go to school one day of the week. We know a system in our land where the government can help pay for your education if your parents can not get you through it themselves, but the education I wanted was not included.

Now do not think for one moment my parents where lazy or anything! The have always done everything they could to get us wat we needed, but sometimes life does not turn out the way you expect. I have had the best youth ever, with more love at home than lots of kids get and loads of love to spare. I did get a good education in doing something I truly like doing (I work in administration) but it was not my first choice.
The two choices could not be further apart than they are I think, but that does not matter. Back to business…

Now, years later I found a course that could help me to go follow my heart. It is a start, but I am going to have to change my life and my partner and I will have to discuss if we can get me started in it financially, because it would mean I will probably have to start with a contract for zero hours. If there is work, I work, but there might be times I barely bring in enough for bread that month. Ah well, we will see how that goes. I’ll keep you posted.

Now the moment you have been waiting for….
What kind of a freak am I?

Keep in mind, the course only gave me basic information. The only way to really learn to do what I want to do is by getting a job in it. You learn on the job, because getting schooled in most of the things we learned requires a very specific item. One you do not simply get at a store and when one is available it need to be treated with respect.

The course I did was one of five weeks in which I learned the basics of taking care of our dearly departed.

When your loved ones die, some-one needs to take care of them for the time they are above ground. I want to be some-one who takes that burden of your shoulders, so you can grieve, and know they are in good hands. As I said, I just learned the basic. The do’s and don’ts you have to know. A little practice in how stiches work. Which stich can we use and in what situation do we use them. We practiced on pigs skin and afterwards on a banana.

On a BANANA! Yes, on a banana (what am I a minion?) because the skin of a banana is so fragile. If you can do you stiches without tearing through it you know you do it with finesse. Believe me, I thought it would be easy, but the banana turned brown under my hands and the skin got all soft, but I succeeded.

After the things I have seen and heard, I know I want to do this job. It is sooooooo important to have a proper goodbye, because there are no do-overs. It has to go right in one take, but if it does….. it helps the people left behind at least a little bit, because the first step on the road of grieve has been a good one.

We also learned thing are very different if you get to other countries. The things we learn here, do not apply to the world, just to our country. We have certain laws about dealing with the dead and every piece of the world handles it their way. As far as I am concerned, if it is a good way for them it is a good way.

Now let’s hope I can find a job and start turning my wishes to reality, even though I know it is not as rose-coloured as It seems from what I have written. Yes I know I will get babies and children and people that did not die in their sleep and might even be unrecognisable, but keep in mind… most of the times it won’t be my loved one, so I have a certain distance that is needed to be able to do this. For me the most important thing is to help people say goodbye to their loved ones.

Since I have not sat down and shared my life for a couple of weeks, there are stories that have not been told… Time to catch up, but let’s do that in my next entry. Thank you for being patient.

Love dreamer