So how about that saying about life giving you lemons and you making lemonade? I think I’m going to need lemon aid instead. Why? Because I’m running out of ideas to make the lemon tasty.

Let me tell you what’s going on. Ever heard of acnes? Nope, not pimples… It stands for Abdominal cutaneous nerve entrapment syndrome and I’ve got it. I’ve had it for some years now. It’s painful, but on a positive note, it’s not deadly, at least not as far as I know. I’ve had two operations and I’m waiting for a third one, because it kept returning.

I tried to ‘paint’ you a picture of the nerve running along the ribs and where it hurts. Seems like I’ve got an entrapped nerve in my side as well (same nerve, different nerve-end) and frankly I’m done. I’ve tried to be relaxed about it, but it is taking to long, so I’m out of sugar! Give me a couple of hours, I’ll find some sugar again, I just felt like complaining for once. Forgive me that you have to receive that.

Now how about some fun items bin this blog? I am at the theatre, since it’s Friday. Today I am sooooooo happy, because I get to see kinky boots!!!! I can’t wait for the show to start, but….. My guts are rumbling, because I ate to much noodles. That makes me gassy. Oops.

While I’m writing this blog (luckily in a far corner with not too many people in my immediate vicinity I feel it rumbling and I couldn’t keep all air in. I don’t think there’s a smell, but can I be sure? Please don’t cancel the show because of a gas leak, there isn’t one, honestly. And please don’t throw me out either, I really really want to see the show. I promise to keep the rest of the gasses in my body.

I just hope I won’t explode because of keeping them in. At least you’ve got a plausible reason for not getting a blog next week (I don’t have one for not getting one last week). Sure I could just forget to post one, since I’m going bowling with work instead of visiting the theatre, but it’s more likely I’ll have exploded. Keep an eye out when watching the news and keep looking if I don’t start posting again later on. I could actually become a ghost writer!

Love, dreamer

The naked truth

Regarding the title, I don’t know how much truth will be in here and how much fantasy, but there will be naked! Not much, or maybe a lot, depending on your imagination.

A friend and I have taken a day for some me/us time. We both have a partner that doesn’t like the kind of relaxation we do, so we go together at times. Where? To the sauna. My friend is also one of my readers. Sorry darling, I don’t think you’ll find a lot of new information this time (k).

So the sauna is where the naked comes in. A whole day of wearing nothing but a robe when you’re not in the sauna. The freedom of being you! I tell the truth if I tell you I don’t look at the other people in a sexual way (my friend excluded I guess, but that’s a station we won’t visit, because I truly love my partner and I am a monogamous person). I don’t care about how they look, because I don’t like to be looked at like that when in a sauna. And as we all know… Do not do unto others…… You get the drift.

On such a day we talk about everything there is to talk about. (yes everything!) We relax and enjoy good food and drinks, but most off all the warmth. Or maybe most of all each others company. You choose. That day we did something new. We snoozeled. You what?!? We snoozeled. It a combination of snoozing and being pampered and it is goooooood!

You walk into a room with loads of people, all naked. (Get your mind out off that gutter, we are not going there! This is a respectable blog, or at least I hope so.) Everyone has their own bed to lie on, with a soft towel to cover ourselves with. The lights go down (nope, still not going there) and soft music plays. Two people go past everyone to put a hot stone on their sternum. Whenever they will be treating you they touch that stone, so you won’t startle. This way everyone got a mask, shoulder/face massage. Lower arms/hands, lower legs/feet massage. The whole thing took an hour and was….. Soooooooo lovely. (Nope we never went there)

All in all, we had a wonderful day of being naked and catching up. I wish such days for everyone, in the way they love to relax of course.

Love dreamer

Baby it’s cold inside

First of all sorry I’ve been absent for two weeks, but I’ve been sick. I didn’t know on what day I was living and slept most of the time, but I am better now.So what is there to share? I’ll spare you my time being sick, nothing to tell.

We’ve had a couple of nice days with sun and everything, so what to do when spring peeks around the corner to see if we are ready for her? Go to a giant freezer ofcourse! It is winter after all.

Why would you go to a giant freezer, what could you want to do in it? Well I have heard of freezers you van go to to ski indoor, but that’s not what I went to. The freezer I went to was kind of build of old sea containers. They got turned into one giant freezer for a couple of months for only one reason… Ice sculptures.

So the weather outside is delightful and I decide to go see some ice sculptures instead of enjoying this sneak peak of spring. I had not been to this event before and walking up to it didn’t promise a good time. The containers stood at the end of an old factory site that is currently used for events. Walking up to the containers a couple of people walked away from them and I heard one of them tell the other they had expected more of it followed by the fact she had heard others say it was too small as well. Great….

I had to walk around a couple of old sea containers to find a wooden stall where tickets could be bought. After buying a ticket my hand got stamped with the words, now you can go again after you come out. Again, that didn’t promise much. Then to the first container, waiting in line this container funtioned as a hallway you could wait in without standing in the rain or cold (not needed today). Halfway in I started to feel dizzy, great a difference in presure no-one else seemed to notice. After about ten minutes I was at the front of the line, a door was opened end I streamed in with about ten others before the door closed again. Instant winter. We walked through hallways of ice surounded by sculptures. You needed your wintergear in here. My toes froze after about a minute and my fingers followed suit, something I could not use, because I needed pictures to use one for my blog.

I was in aw. Most sculptures where beautifull and I had trouble picking Just one. It took about twenty minutes to walk past all the sculptures and I loved it. The smart thing is they made photo opps. Like the tea table from Alice in wonderland. The mad Hatter sad at one end and on the other was an empty chair you could take place on to have you picture taken by a person that came with you. Post these pictures on Instagram and Facebook and you could win a camera! I will not do that, but I will use one picture for this post.

When leaving the containers my glasses fogged up at once. It felt good to get warm again, but I would have loved to see more sculptures.

Love dreamer

Years back, right?

I vividly remember how scary things where when I was younger. maybe, just maybe, this post can show someone else they are not alone in their fears.

I vividly remember how scary things where when I was younger. The reason I remember so vividly? I think it is because most things are still as scary to me, but I’ve learned to hide it better.

Enter a room full of people I don’t know. When I was younger I did it from behind the leg of my father of mother. Now I stand outside for several minutes telling myself I can do this, they won’t bite (like my parents used to) enter the room with butterflies in my stomach and the feeling I could throw up any minute, but a smile on my face and a faked confidence (or so I hope) so they won’t see I am an easy prey.

Getting out of the house for groceries, to get to work, go to someone I know and like…. Not a problem. Getting out of the door to get rid of weeds or wash windows, WHY DO I HAVE TO? I know everyone does these things, but I don’t want to. “Why not” People can see me doing these things. “So?” Well, they will have an opinion about me won’t they? What if they think I am weird, or worse what if they make fun of the way I do those chores? “They won’t, why would they?” I don’t know, but it is possible, so I don’t want to.
That is just one of the arguments I have with myself. And it is nonsense to be afraid of what people think at that moment, I know, but still.
I can be weird on purpose, than I don’t mind what they think, it is the thoughts they can have about me when I am not being silly. The fear of people being nice to you because you are ‘special’.

The fact that my fears didn’t disappear struck me this week, because of one of my co-workers. She did not do anything, but look so damn self-confident. Remember the popular girls in school. Looking like they knew everyone would run for them if they snapped their finger and with good right? That’s what she felt like for me at that moment. Every damn time I see her I feel like the four year old, on her birthday at school, forced to bring the teachers a treat, so she goes into the classrooms of the older kids and feels like she should be swallowed by the earth, because they are so much more than she is.

I tell myself I am an adult, I should not feel like I am less than anyone else. I should be proud of me, and I am. But at those moments I don’t believe myself and still wish for the earth to swallow me.

Maybe I handle it with more grace than when I was younger, but those feelings… I am afraid they will never leave me. I’ve decided it is better to get to know them and be friends them, at least that gives me a better capacity to deal with them.

That being said, I am happy with me (getting happier growing older, because you learn how to) and my quirks are part of me so it makes me the (most times I hope) loveable person I am. But maybe, just maybe, this post can show someone else they are not alone in their fears. Maybe they differ in how big they are, but we are not alone.

Love dreamer


So here we are in the new year, there is summer to look forward to, but noooooo winter decides to show up after all.
And not all in either, but just enough to let you know it still exists, even with global warming.

So here we are in the new year, there is summer to look forward to, but noooooo winter decides to show up after all.
And not all in either, but just enough to let you know it still exists, even with global warming.

I do not mind winter, I like the season well enough and had fun in the snow and on frozen lakes as a kid. The problem is it is never truly winter anymore. An because of that you cannot truly prepare for it, can you?

One day all roads freeze over, not visible (that is the time I fell of my bike three times! Now I am actually afraid to ride my bike when it feels to cold outside. I am such a whimp!) the next the sun is shining and you feel like you should see lambs in the field next to the sheep, in other words, spring should have started.

I like winter if it comes as winter, not if it just weaves in and out like a ninja. Can it be that winter does that as a revenge against global warming? I see it happening:

Winter sits in this icy lair of his, waiting for Summer and Autumn to pass:
“Those foolish humans! Why do they have to mess with nature, don’t they know everything has his balance? Why do they mess with everything they come across? Someone has to stop them, tell them what they are doing is BAD!”
There is this little (adorable) monster sitting at his feet, looking like a little snowball asking: “But Winter, who will be able to tell them that, don’t they know already?”
Winter: “No they don’t, because then they would have changed their ways would they not? Let’s get together with the other seasons and talk this over!

Then the other seasons come over and they agree, they have to tell us to stop doing things the way we are. But how, because they don’t speak nature!
And that is why, Summer is never the Summer he used to be, he holds back on us, to tell us we are doing wrong. He will give us a warm day now and again, but never a full nice summer, that is something from the past. Spring and Autumn agreed to be even more unpredictable then before, taking days off, so Winter can take over. It was his idea, so he can have most fun in communicating his discontent. Winter comes by all year around, giving us blasts of snow and cold when we least expect it, but never enough to truly get used to is.

“It will be had to divide our attention like that”, Summer says. To what winter replies: “That is why we start small, figure out how we can alternate our work and gradualy spread across the whole globe”.

And that is what is happening, they tell us to take care of nature and our world, but we are not listening, and as a result winter has decided to start its burst after all. No, you can’t have enough snow for snow angels, just enough to unsettle you, and then I am gone.
I wish I could fix things for nature, but I am afraid we need to work together on that one (and I am nog a saint if it comes to saving nature single handed, because I like my comforts as well as anyone), so let’s see if we can get the seasons on our side again 😀

Love dreamer

Couch potato,

First of all, sorry it has been a while.Now that this is out of the way, I have been thinking about the blog and something I really want to share. thank you city officials, for wanting to be de bike friendliest city of the country!

Hi there.
First of all, sorry it has been a while. I could give you all excuses possible, like I haven’t been feeling well and all, but there is no excuse that covers not writing.

I have just been lazy. As a matter of fact that is one of my worst qualities. I am lazy as hell.
Give me a show to watch, I will do nothing but watch for a long time.
Household chores need to be done, one more episode, one more… Ok when the clock strikes three I will do the things that need to be done. Shit five o clock, I need to cook before my partner gets home. While cooking I work the things that really catch you eye out of sight, well I guess I have done some of  the chores, so…. Right, everything that needs to be on the stove is on it, let’s watch some more episodes.

So that’s me, until a deadline creeps up on me for something important to do, then I go do it.
As I said, lazy. That is why there was no new blog within a week, because there is no one telling me it has to be written at a specific moment. So… Sorry it has been a while, it is all on me.

Now that this is out of the way, I have been thinking about the blog and something I really want to share.

Where I live it is quite normal to go places by bike. As a matter of fact, cities get declared bike friendliest town of the year. The city I live in is going for that title for the year 2020. The things they come up with to realize that are insane!!!!

Bike roads are being placed though parks, so grass has to clear the way for a red road wide enough for a car to pass over. What do they think? That drivers will think, “he a shortcut, wait, it is for bikes because it is red, well I will do the right thing and drive all the way around”. Of course they won’t, so before you know it the park made way for an undercover road, nice job!

And what about the traffic light for bicycles. Normally you have just the traffic light, green is go, red is stop. We all know to wait, even the colour blind know, top is red, bottom is green. Our city placed countdown lights next to the traffic light. Nice right! You hit the button to have the light turn to green, the countdown light turns on and you see a circle of lights where light turn off until there is no light left on, the traffic light turns green and there you go.

Lovely in theory, because now you know how long you have before the light turns green. If you want to take off you jacket and put it on the back of the bike, you know when you have to be done, because the thing will be counting down orderly, right? WRONG!

Sometimes you hit the button, the countdown light turns on and within seconds it the circle of lights went out. At other times the circle of light turns on, the first light turns off, then turns on, then turns off, then turns on, then turns off, then turns on (this can take up to two minutes of going on, so I will stop writing it down, just read it over and over until you feel it has been an eternity) and then all at once the circle looks like a loading circle, one after the other all light turn off. You can go.
Then there is the most irritating version. You see the lights tick away, it is going steadily (jay a good one!) ten, nine, eight, seven, six, (foot on the peddle), five, four, three, (get ready to move!), two, one (Let’s go!), one, one, one, one, (why is the light still red? I almost went, if I hadn’t used my eyes that car would have driven over me!!!), one, one, one, one, (ok my foot is cramping, let’s get it of the paddle), green! (AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA)

So thank you city officials, for wanting to be de bike friendliest city of the country!
I think their secret agenda is to get people with bad harts to work up a heart attack and people with not too much intellect to get run over by cars to make sure only the best people get to live in this city.
Luckily for me the light does not weed out the lazy 😀

Love dreamer