Slowly but steadily I’m starting to turn into a social caterpillar. People who think I don’t know that it’s supposed to be a butterfly are wrong, I know…. I just don’t think I’m close to being a social butterfly. Baby steps people.
I can be super social as far as people see. I know how to talk about the weather and other nonsense, but it takes effort. Why go through the trouble if you don’t have to right? Most people would say “because it is fun”. It’s not always fun! But let’s leave that debate alone. To each his own.
I’ve always preferred to be on my own or in small groups. Loads of people make me feel uneasy, but you can’t always avoid it. Even though I see it that way, I started an education to become a social worker. I like people, just in small doses. At that point in my life I felt terrible. I would much rather die, but was afraid of pain. My mum informed school about my feelings. That combined with having trouble with some of the target groups made the school tell me I needed social interactions training.
Yep, I needed training in order to be able to participate in Smalltalk. I am glad for it, because I doubt if I would have been able to do that without the training. I firmly believe I would be a hermit that lives among people, but tries hard not to interact with them. But now I actually talk with people. So I’ve told you about the old man I’ve met at the theatre before. I didn’t meet him again, but last week I talked to three people!
See what I mean by social caterpillar? Slowly but steadily I start interacting with strangers at the theatre. Of course you don’t want to exaggerate, so today I’m writing my blog on my phone, so I can keep to myself. Small doses…. Maybe one day, if I get to grow very old, I’ll get to reach the butterfly stage.