I’ll start this blog with my nightmare and finish it with theatre, so we have something bright to end on, because man…… The nightmare I had this week had me shaking for a long time after. To be honest, I still feel like crying when I think about it.
The night I had this nightmare was a strange one. I woke up around a quarter to two and would wake up every hour after that. The frustrating thing is, every time I fell asleep again, I would pick up the nightmare where I’d left it to wake up. Here goes…
It starts with me waking up next to my partner, not sure if they were still alive. I left home nonetheless, figuring I was being to protective again. For some reason I was at my mum’s that afternoon. She told me in distress my partner had died, but couldn’t tell how they died. She could tell me for sure it had been in the afternoon, not in bed.
I decided to go to my partner’s parents to get more information and talk about the next steps to take. I felt shaken up, but couldn’t really cry. It felt more like a fake emotion than a real one, like I wanted to show the world how hurt I was, but didn’t feel it. My partner’s mum mumbled, but didn’t make any sense and their father immediately left when I walked up to him.
And now? No one could tell me how my partner died and I had to think ahead without any help at all. Well, I would need to let the bank know they died. Luckily we have an insurance for our mortgage just in case one of us would die. Then there’s the car. I would have to let the company that leases it to us know my partner died. They are the main user. Same goes for our telecom contract. How in the word would I manage?
I distinctly remember thinking, their dad won’t get their phone. That is mine! How awful of me! When it was time to get out of bed (thank goodness) I walked over to my partner’s side of the bed and hugged them real tight. I knew they where awake, because they asked if I had slept well. I asked to please not die on me again. The answer I got was: I can’t make any promises.
I felt the tears rise and knowing my partner is to down to earth to know how to react, left for the bathroom. I cried, because the loss of my partner felt so real! Horrible! I felt it all day and still, when I talk or write about it I feel so empty. Brrrrrr.
On to something that’s a lot less unnerving. I went to a tryout for the musical we will rock you. (Emagine an enormous amount of emoticons with heart eyes). (more). (Nope still not enough).(a bit more). (About right, but not quite).(yes that’s it)! Anastasia was killer Queen. It was sooooooo good. I would go every day if I could, but that’s not possible. To bad. Definitely one of the best shows I’ve been able to visit on me pass.