I am an idiot!!!

My partner tells me I am lucky my head is attached to my body, because otherwise I’d lose it. And I guess they are right, because I ‘misplace’ things all the time, not being able to find them for days and then out of the blue…. O there it is! That is why I get told how lucky I am with the head situation so often.

Today I hit rock-bottom, at least that’s how it felt, but if somewhere along the path it turns out I can go any lower, you will be the first to know. At least if you are the first to read the blog, otherwise you might be the second or third, but anyway, this is what happened…..

My partner and I left our house this morning to get a present for a party we are going to tomorrow. We knew what we wanted to get, but somehow didn’t get to buying it until one day in advance. No problem, we bought it, it is at our house right now, so I can get creative with it during the day attaching some money, so the receivers will get something we put time into picking it out and got creative with, and they will have money to buy something they will truly like, instead of the junk they got. Let’s face it, people seldom buy you something you truly love, unless you picked it out yourself. Or that could be just me… ungrateful brat that I am.

The first part of the day is going as planned. Next stop… to get my high heels repaired. On the way there my partner asks me if I would like to go get some fish to eat. YES PLEASE! It had been a while since I last ate fish, so I would love to! So unexpected stop to get some fish. We had planned to go grocery shopping as well, there was a supermarket right next to the place we went to eat fish (I ate fish, my partner won’t, even though they used to sell it at the market, they will not eat it, not even if their life will depend on it I think), so why not get the groceries there. Not a problem. Fish eaten, grocery shopping done, back in the car for the last shop, getting those high heels repaired. I go into the shop, give the man the shoes, ask what it is going to cost me and when I can pick them up and get back in the car knowing they will be good as new tomorrow.

Reading this you must think, where is this rock-bottom, reads like a normal day. You are right, nothing strange yet, until you know what you will read in a few seconds. We are in the car, feeling good about having done things so efficient and fast when…. A mini heart attack. Where is my phone?

Ok information you need. Today I am wearing a dress. If I wear a dress I don’t have pockets (duh), so instead of putting my phone in my bag or holding it in my hand I put it in my bra. Safe place, never lost it there. If it is really hot out I put it in a plastic bag and then in my bra, so the sweat won’t ruin the device. Judge me all you want, it does the job. I have my hands free and do not need a bag to drag along.

So I have the mini heart attack because I can’t find my phone. I scare my partner (who is driving) by freaking out almost yelling: “where’s my phone”, like I am about to lose my life. (what has it come to with this world that something like a phone gets me worked up like this.)
I knew for sure I had taken it from home, because I had been playing games on it when going to get the present. I had it when we left there, because I remember having it in my lap and putting my hand over the camera lens so the sun could not reflect in my partners eyes. At one point my partner wanted to hold my hand, so I put in under the skirt of my dress. Between there and the heart attack I didn’t remember having it with me.

I remembered thinking something fell when getting out to get the fish. Did I forget to take the phone from under my skirt? Was it in the street, maybe run over by our very own car?
My partner decided to pull the car to the side of the road, took their phone and started to call me. I heard my ringtone vaguely, but at least I heard it. RELIEF…. But the sound was awfully soft. It did not come from under my seat nor out of my bag. I don’t know why, but I decide to open the door. The sound grew louder. How in the world….? I close the door again, to see if it is in the compartment. Nothing, the sound gets softer once more. I get out of the car, check the back seat. My phone has gone to voicemail by now, so I ask my partner to try calling me again. Nope, not the backseat. How can it be I hear the ringtone more clearly when I am outside the car. At that point my partner is calling me again.. I close the door to the backseat. I stand up and just as my eye wanders to the roof of the car the ringtone starts again. Clear as can be. MY PHONE IS ON THE ROOF OF THE CAR!!!!!!! HOW IN THE WORLD DID I MANAGE TO GET IT THERE? More important how in the world hadn’t it slipped of?

I got in the car, the phone safe and sound by some kind of miracle, and my partner gets back on the road. We nearly collide with the car behind us, because both my partner and I didn’t notice it. Our minds were still boggled by the phone. Mine perhaps more than my partners. Could be my partner did not notice the car because I kept screaming: “HOW IN THE WORLD!!!” After escaping death by collision my partner calmly told me how lucky I had been the phone was still on top of the car. I kept screaming: “HOW IN THE WORLD. WHEN…. WHEN DID I PUT IT ON TOP OF THE CAR!? HOW IN THE WORLD DID I PUT IT ON TOP OF THE CAR!?”

It took about five minutes for me to calm down enough to start thinking clearly. When and how did the phone get on top of the car? Logic dictates I somehow got it on there when getting out of the car to buy fish. I had it when leaving with the present but I didn’t have it when buying fish or groceries and I didn’t have it when taking my heels to get fixed, so it must have happened when I got out of the car for fish. I still don’t know how though. Did I take it from under my skirt, heave myself out of the car, by grabbing hold of the roof with my phone in hand and then letting go of both the phone and the roof? I guess I will never know, because I am honestly trying to recall wat happened, but…. Nothing. And let’s be honest, the phone must have been on there while driving around, so it stayed on the roof while we made turns and stops and pulled up.

I can’t believe this has actually happened. I think my partner might be right, I would be able to ‘misplace’ my head if it would not be connected to my body. On the bright side… this was a miracle, so….. I am of to the woods, with the luck I have today I might actually stumble across a unicorn or something! If so I might even tell you about it :D.

Love
Dreamer

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