Google thingy

Yeh, I know it probably has a name other than Google thingy, but I don’t know it.
I have seen the thingy because my partner brought it into our home.
Why? Because my partner works at a store that sells them. If you want to sell something, you need to know how it works, or at least the basics. My partner already knew the thing from work, but apparently we need one in our home now, because it should work in our own language as well as English. And so the Google thingy entered our home.

I have hear of Siri, but I am not a big Apple fan (sew me), so I have never seen such a thing live. I did not know google had this thing you can put in your home to ask questions to and give commands to turn on lights and appliances. I still don’t know what to think of it, but the first evening the thing was in our house was funny as hell.

Yeh, she should be able to speak and interpret my language and she does I guess, but…. She is far from perfect and that makes things hilarious. Why do I say she? Well it has a female voice. I don’t know if you can have a male voice for the thing, I should ask my partner if that is even possible, or maybe I can learn it from people who know how this Google thingy works if you leave a comment.

So why is she hilarious. A couple of things. To begin with, she has my sense of humour. I mean her jokes are so lame, I love them. They are not really jokes, they’re one-liners. I searched on the internet to find an English version, so here it goes: “What is a sea monster’s favorite snack? Ships and dip.” My kind of humour. When I was a lot younger there was this joke that cracked me and a friend of mine up (still does). Everyone else that heard it looked at us like we were insane to find it funny enough to role of our chairs with laughter. Here’s the joke, just so you know what a nut I am: “To camels walk through the dessert. One camel say to the other camel: “the weather’s nice, isn’t it?” The other camel replies: “Shut up! Camels can’t talk!””. Yep still does something for me, I am grinning madly while typing it 😀

Back to the google thingy. My partner tried to get her to open Netflix. She opens Netflix in YouTube. In other words, you get a commercial for Netflix on YouTube. This goes on for twenty something minutes. My partner actually asks the Google thingy to open music in YouTube, she opens it in a music application on our TV instead of YouTube. I found this hilarious. My partner kept tinkering with the settings in the hopes of getting it right. Alternated with asking her to tell a joke, so I could not concentrate on what I was doing because I find her jokes so funny (most of them at least).

O and the lights, my partner kept going on: “Oke Google, turn the lights off” with the standard reply: “I am turning off two lights”. Then my partner would say: “Oke Google, turn the lights on”, with the standard reply she was turning on two lights. You can imagine, as hilarious as it was at first as tedious it became after a while. When I had more than enough I asked my partner if they were done. Nope, not until I had talked to Google. Asked her to turn off the lights.

Now you would say that is easily done, talk to the thing and have a little peace and quiet. Yeh…. Thing is, I could not talk to it. It felt so weird, so uncomfortable, I could not do it. I took a deep breath several times to start the sentence: “Oke Google, lights off”, but every time he words got stuck in my throat. I could not talk to Google, not with my partner there. It felt to weird. Then finally, on my way upstairs in passing the thingy I did a quick: “Oke Google, lights of” and walked on upstairs as fast as I could.

The Google thingy has been in our house for a couple of days now. I feel a little more comfortable in asking her to turn on lights or the radio, but it still is a weird thing. Think of it… how long before the computer grows a mind of its own and determines it doesn’t like taking orders, so it plots to kill you with your own appliances, just so it can get a little peace and quiet. I am not taking my chances, I ask as politely as I can and I thank the damn thing after it did something I asked for. Even if it tried and tells me it can’t do it yet, but it is still learning. Yes, it tells you it is still learning…. so you better be polite to you stuff, before it turns of your light instead of the lights in your home.
I know I’ll try to stay friends with my Google thingy.

Love
Dreamer

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