Cheating

I have never ever cheated in my life (unbelievable, I know, but true). ..Then why do I have the feeling I cheated?…here I go, correcting my cheat.

I have never ever cheated in my life (unbelievable, I know, but true). The one time I tried was because a teacher told me to and I did not go through with it because everyone in class told me not to forget to cheat when we sat down for our test. Weird right, for a teacher to tell you to cheat. The reason my teacher said I should try and cheat in his class? I never got a passing grade for his subject (a language, you had to take the subject for a year before you could drop it). He promised us a treat if everyone got a good grade (sorry everyone, again no treat because of me) and he felt sorry for me, so he said, ‘cheat without me knowing about it’. Nice man. I made a little note for in my pencil case and the others noticed me making it, so the blew it by making fun of me while the teacher could hear, so again no treat for them. They never got one while taking the subject with me and I feel good about it, because I did not cheat. I just do not like cheating!

Then why do I have the feeling I cheated?  I feel like I cheated a couple of days ago, I cheated Campervan Man out of some good answers. He just got the short version, not the explanation. So let me correct that please, and I will make a change if you do not mind, because afterward I thought, nope, you are wrong about your favourite word. So here I go, correcting my cheat.

  1. I love beaches, because you can enjoy them without having to do a workout. I like doing as little as possible when away from home. I do like a good mountain view, but only if I can drive up there. And beaches have this romantic feeling, walking along the water’s edge with the person you love while the sun is setting. Building sandcastles, or in my case sand mountains, because I am just not any good at castles.
  2. Now I said Love, because this feeling can conquer a lot of things, but after even more careful consideration it is supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Wow, Word actually recognises the word!!!!!!!!!!!! I do not believe that! And I have just given away how I make less mistakes than I would have on my own in writing English. But there it is, Mary Poppins tells you why it is such a good word. When I feel bad, this word actually makes me feel better. Not many words can. The word love itself will not do that, the emotion/feeling will, so there, that is why I changed words (and cheated in that way, I am soooooooo sorry)
  3. I do not need to change this answer, there is nothing to ad. It says it all. The best place to be in the whole world is home, because everyone I love is there. Home is where your hart is, so home I an elusive answer, but it is the right one for me.
  4. I would invite Curt Mega and Jon Cozart to dinner. There are a whole lot more of those guys I would like to be there, but I had to choose, and it was difficult. I picked two of the bunch that I know of their single works on YouTube. I love their things and I would like to talk to them, so why not while eating a nice meal. I think it would be a nice long diner with a lot to talk and laugh about.
  5. I would rather fight 1 lion sized hamster, because at least you can keep an eye on that thing, if it were 100 hamster sized lions they could attack from all sides. I think I would get killed either way though. I am a useless fighter, trust me I had that tested once. A man wanted me to come home and do the nasty, but I told him no. Words did not work, so in panic I elbowed him in the chest with everything I had (we were both seated on a park bench) and all he could do was look at me and say, what, you do not like the idea (it did not hurt him one little bit) HELP!!! I just stayed in the park were people could see us until he left and went home the very long way, just in case.

There, I hope I made up for cheating the first time around. I am sort of glad I have cheated the first time around, because of the length of both posts. This one has become quite a long one again, as was the other one.

Hope you enjoyed this.

Love
Dreamer

2 thoughts on “Cheating”

  1. Wow! I read your piece and thought that you’re really an honest person! I like your stories!

    This subject brings something to mind for me (and reading this back, this comment is quite long itself). Cheating in a different way. The feelings are still quite fresh and besides that I find feelings themselves extremely difficult to handle or talk about.

    So why do I write this down? At first I would say that I would like to clear my concious with it, but at second hand I would say that I still have to find out why.

    Let me get this straight. I’m really not someone who advocates for cheating on the one you love sincerely. And if you would ask me the question “if I would ever cheat on my partner” just one year ago, I would give you a hard “That would never ever happen to me” in return. Certainly not under the circumstances as it did.

    I know. I know that cheating is a bad thing, so there is no need to play teacher on me for anybody and tell me that hurting somebody who has given you their trust is bad. That’s a quite standard reaction comming from somebody that probably has never experienced it from the perspective I did.

    Well, so why did I do it? To understand that here’s a little bit of background:
    I have two jobs. A fulltime and a parttime one.

    The second job made me travel to a meeting. After this meeting, we went to a restaurant to eat. With three of my collegues and this person I didn’t meet before. This person was very attractive and I had allready noticed this person during the day. For me, this person seemed to have it all: good looking, smart, ambitious and back than I could go on all day about positive traits.

    The joys of a digital world made it easy to keep in touch with each other and before we knew it, we were texting all day. Texting became meeting and the rest isn’t that different from other starting (long distance) relationships where partners only see each other in real life during weekends.

    But after a few months, problems arose at my second job. I was hit personally by it and it hit me hard. My new partner was so ambitious that her ambitions started to get the upperhand over our relationship. (S)he wasn’t there when I needed it the most and more over, (s)he didn’t seem to see how hard these problems hit me personally.

    At this moment I got in contact with another person. This person knew of the troubles at my second job as this person is employed in the same line of work (although for a different company). This person was also in a relationship and at first I saw the conversations we had as a way to get ‘rid’ of my negative feelings. And in a way this person gave me what I missed in my relationship. For the first time, I felt understood.

    I did talk about this with my partner (the part that I didn’t felt understood), but as I’m constantly analyzing myself, I noticed that I started to develop feelings for this other person. Although this person didn’t have the looks that normaly attract me, I instantly fell in love with this person’s eyes (and I still do everytime I see them). But then again, this person was already in a relationship. Days of texting back and forth passed and the more we ‘spoke’, the more we concluded that we were very much alike.

    Long story short: Our feelings were the same and we started showing affection towards each other. I liked these moments of kissing and cuddling. But after two months the other person felt sorry for cheating on “it’s” partner and our ‘relation’ ended as sudden as it had started.

    So again why did I do it? As much as I would like, there were moments that I was willing to inform my partner. During weekends these moments came more and more, but in the end my partner would like to go out in the “available” weekends, and discussing these things would ruin these rare moments of joy (of course paradoxical we did drift even more apart by not speaking about my feelings for another person).
     
    So what? Consolation at first, but after two months I realized that I truly love this other person. But as this person is with another partner, I should let it go and wish truly the best for the future. I feel sorry for all people involved. My partner, the other person and even the person’s partner (yes, that’s right! I even feel sorry for the person that makes loving my love the way I would impossible).

    So would I ever do it again? I really would like to say no as it has given me a great feeling of guilt. But in reality life isn’t that black and white, so only the future knows. Did I learn from it? Yes, I did… for the future it teached me to speak out to the person I love the most about everything. Even if it means I have to tell that I have feelings for another person. As love isn’t a feeling you can control, these things can happen and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, thank you for sharing your story. You are right life is not just black and white, it has a lot of grey shades as well. I sincerely hope things will work out, one way or the other. I will not judge you on cheating, sometimes there are situations that teach us we are not happy the way things are, even if you thought you were. The lesson you take from it is a beautiful one, but it must be a very painful lesson, after all, even if you grew to love someone else, you started out loving the other person, so I do not think you would hurt anyone intentional and it hurts you to, at least that is what I am reading. I agree that you should never be ashamed of what you feel, as long as honesty keeps things real. But even honesty/talking can be very difficult. In real life I would ask you if I could give you a hug right now (I always ask first, because not everyone likes to be hugged), but since it is text, you can choose to ignore the next part if you want to. A big hug (in thought). I hope sharing the story helped you as well, in feeling a little better and I wish you the best for everything. Keep true to yourself and your feelings.
      Love
      Dreamer

      Like

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