So how about that saying about life giving you lemons and you making lemonade? I think I’m going to need lemon aid instead. Why? Because I’m running out of ideas to make the lemon tasty.

Let me tell you what’s going on. Ever heard of acnes? Nope, not pimples… It stands for Abdominal cutaneous nerve entrapment syndrome and I’ve got it. I’ve had it for some years now. It’s painful, but on a positive note, it’s not deadly, at least not as far as I know. I’ve had two operations and I’m waiting for a third one, because it kept returning.

I tried to ‘paint’ you a picture of the nerve running along the ribs and where it hurts. Seems like I’ve got an entrapped nerve in my side as well (same nerve, different nerve-end) and frankly I’m done. I’ve tried to be relaxed about it, but it is taking to long, so I’m out of sugar! Give me a couple of hours, I’ll find some sugar again, I just felt like complaining for once. Forgive me that you have to receive that.

Now how about some fun items bin this blog? I am at the theatre, since it’s Friday. Today I am sooooooo happy, because I get to see kinky boots!!!! I can’t wait for the show to start, but….. My guts are rumbling, because I ate to much noodles. That makes me gassy. Oops.

While I’m writing this blog (luckily in a far corner with not too many people in my immediate vicinity I feel it rumbling and I couldn’t keep all air in. I don’t think there’s a smell, but can I be sure? Please don’t cancel the show because of a gas leak, there isn’t one, honestly. And please don’t throw me out either, I really really want to see the show. I promise to keep the rest of the gasses in my body.

I just hope I won’t explode because of keeping them in. At least you’ve got a plausible reason for not getting a blog next week (I don’t have one for not getting one last week). Sure I could just forget to post one, since I’m going bowling with work instead of visiting the theatre, but it’s more likely I’ll have exploded. Keep an eye out when watching the news and keep looking if I don’t start posting again later on. I could actually become a ghost writer!

Love, dreamer

The naked truth

Regarding the title, I don’t know how much truth will be in here and how much fantasy, but there will be naked! Not much, or maybe a lot, depending on your imagination.

A friend and I have taken a day for some me/us time. We both have a partner that doesn’t like the kind of relaxation we do, so we go together at times. Where? To the sauna. My friend is also one of my readers. Sorry darling, I don’t think you’ll find a lot of new information this time (k).

So the sauna is where the naked comes in. A whole day of wearing nothing but a robe when you’re not in the sauna. The freedom of being you! I tell the truth if I tell you I don’t look at the other people in a sexual way (my friend excluded I guess, but that’s a station we won’t visit, because I truly love my partner and I am a monogamous person). I don’t care about how they look, because I don’t like to be looked at like that when in a sauna. And as we all know… Do not do unto others…… You get the drift.

On such a day we talk about everything there is to talk about. (yes everything!) We relax and enjoy good food and drinks, but most off all the warmth. Or maybe most of all each others company. You choose. That day we did something new. We snoozeled. You what?!? We snoozeled. It a combination of snoozing and being pampered and it is goooooood!

You walk into a room with loads of people, all naked. (Get your mind out off that gutter, we are not going there! This is a respectable blog, or at least I hope so.) Everyone has their own bed to lie on, with a soft towel to cover ourselves with. The lights go down (nope, still not going there) and soft music plays. Two people go past everyone to put a hot stone on their sternum. Whenever they will be treating you they touch that stone, so you won’t startle. This way everyone got a mask, shoulder/face massage. Lower arms/hands, lower legs/feet massage. The whole thing took an hour and was….. Soooooooo lovely. (Nope we never went there)

All in all, we had a wonderful day of being naked and catching up. I wish such days for everyone, in the way they love to relax of course.

Love dreamer


Slowly but steadily I’m starting to turn into a social caterpillar. People who think I don’t know that it’s supposed to be a butterfly are wrong, I know…. I just don’t think I’m close to being a social butterfly. Baby steps people.

I can be super social as far as people see. I know how to talk about the weather and other nonsense, but it takes effort. Why go through the trouble if you don’t have to right? Most people would say “because it is fun”. It’s not always fun! But let’s leave that debate alone. To each his own.

I’ve always preferred to be on my own or in small groups. Loads of people make me feel uneasy, but you can’t always avoid it. Even though I see it that way, I started an education to become a social worker. I like people, just in small doses. At that point in my life I felt terrible. I would much rather die, but was afraid of pain. My mum informed school about my feelings. That combined with having trouble with some of the target groups made the school tell me I needed social interactions training.

Yep, I needed training in order to be able to participate in Smalltalk. I am glad for it, because I doubt if I would have been able to do that without the training. I firmly believe I would be a hermit that lives among people, but tries hard not to interact with them. But now I actually talk with people. So I’ve told you about the old man I’ve met at the theatre before. I didn’t meet him again, but last week I talked to three people!

See what I mean by social caterpillar? Slowly but steadily I start interacting with strangers at the theatre. Of course you don’t want to exaggerate, so today I’m writing my blog on my phone, so I can keep to myself. Small doses…. Maybe one day, if I get to grow very old, I’ll get to reach the butterfly stage.

Love dreamer

New year, bad start part two

As promised, I owe you the story of how the post of the second week didn’t appear, while I had planned to take only one week off.

As you know I go to the theatre on most Fridays. That Friday was no exception. I sat at a table, cup of warm water besides me (tea without the tea so to speak) and had my phone in front of me, typing up a blog. So far, so good. I was about halfway through when an older man came up to me, asked if I was alone, and after getting that affirmed, asked if he could sit at the table. Sure, take a seat. (The man could have been my grandpa, he just wanted someone to talk to).

The man sat down, so I had a decision to make: be impolite and finish the blog for you to read of talk to the man that looked a bit lost and alone. I chose to be a good person and talk to the old man. He told me he had made the decision to go to the play that afternoon. He’d taken the gamble, went in and got himself a ticket. He was all alone, so he didn’t do there kind of things often, because it is hard to do this when you’re alone. (I know, because I wouldn’t be doing this alone if I wouldn’t have had my pass)

He still had his own house and garden. Loved to work in his garden, but missed some company, especially  after sundown The world gets a lot smaller after sundown he said.

He knew how to keep himself occupied, but it was lonely, and so he decided he’d go to the theatre tonight and see how things would go. He didn’t have a clue what the play was about, but of the four actors three where old as well, and he remembered how he loved one of the actresses when he was young, so he came to take a look at someone from his youth. I liked the man a lot. It took guts to do this, buy a ticket, sit at a table with a total stranger and be honest enough to tell them you don’t know what you’re going to, but you like one of the actresses.

I truly hope he enjoyed himself and maybe I’ll see him this week, because another old actor has a show I’m going to. The old man seemed interested as well. The funny thing is… the man had a voice I loved listening to. It was a warm deeper kind of voice and his way of talking reminded me of someone. It took me most of the time listening to him to get the right name in my head. It is the same voice as an old comedian from my country had when he was still alive! I remember the comedian, because he is highly regarded in our country. The only images I’ve ever seen are in black and white, that’s how old he is. And this man in the here and now sounds just like that man in black and white. If I closed my eyes I would swear I was listening to something from way back when on T.V. I truly hope to see this man again.

So last week I wanted to post two blogs at once, since one was nearly finished, but then… It turns out that the application on my phone has issues. I’ve written on it almost every Friday. When I need to walk around I turn off my screen so I don’t write nonsense by accident. It is hard enough to read when I do it on purpose, so I try to keep is doable for you. It turns out the app won’t write text after I turn on the screen again. Nice! @#%*

While talking to the man the week before he told me his eyes were getting bad. He had trouble reading, so I tried to show him larger text on my phone. At that time I had the blog I was writing in front of me and pressed the voice to text button by accident. That meant I had to go back over the text I’d already written, to get out the nonsense. While doing this I had to move from the spot I was at, so I blacked the screen, went to another seat, turned the screen back on and….. couldn’t write. No matter how many keys I hit, not one letter appeared in my text screen. I fidgeted around, not knowing what was going on yet and……… lost the whole thing I had written down. Before I knew it the screen was blank and the app said the changes where saved. I couldn’t get the stuff I had already written last week back. So I started over, wrote part one and promised part two. Here it is. And since I had a dream in-between you got to read that before I put up part two. Be honest, where you thinking I would forget?

I would have thought that, but hey, that’s because I am me 😀

Until next time!


Ninja Robot

They’re baaaaaaaaaaack. The dreams have reappeared and I remember them, at least when I just got out of bed, so…. Here we go!

At first there is this demonstration of a ninja robot. Not just a ninja robot, nope, a killer one. It looks a bit like Wall-E, but completely black and not friendly. Red eyes and all (as far as you can speak of eyes in a robot). The thing drives around with a sword on its back and is capable of going up and down stairs, getting so low to the ground is it almost flat. Those Wall-E thread tires can move around his body an split, that’s how he flattens. He will approach his target with almost no sound and strike out very fast. You don’t have a change of escape when it comes for you.

The man behind the robot is very proud of his invention. It is a smart robot, made to kill. Yeah, that will go well. My dreams are like movies. These things turn to horror/thriller situations in no time. You never split up, you never go looking for things that are bad an everything that can turn around on you will. Sorry for the spoiler, but if you have been reading my blog you already knew this was coming. Let’s go on with the dream.

I asked the man if he’s not afraid of the robot. No of course not! He was smart enough to make an off switch on the thing. He’d show me. He calls the robot over to him, takes it in his arms and starts saying something inaudible, but definitely meant to calm the robot and prepare it for being turned off. I guess it didn’t like that, because before the man can flip the switch he gets killed by his own robot. Right, as I said, that will go well.

Next scene, no more robot. I am at home It is my home, but is isn’t the home I live in in real life. The layout is different, but I know I live here. I hear something outside and go to investigate. There is a man I don’t know. He’s in the garden of the neighbours, or at least where the garden should be. I look at the house and see it has burned down, as did the three houses on the other side of our neighbours house. I realise we have been very lucky this turn of the year, because our house doesn’t have a scratch. The man is interested in the houses and asks me to give him the ‘grand tour’ I don’t know why, but I take time to walk around with him and tell him about the houses and what they looked like when they burned down.

I guess that whole part didn’t last long, because next scene I’m back inside the house, doing something for myself when……dung, dung duuuuuuuung….. I hear something very soft, look through the crack of the door leading to the stairs and see something black coming down them very slowly. (while writing this down the hairs on my arms and in the back of my neck are standing up, I want to look through the window behind me to know if I’m truly safe, but I am scared to do so. Why don’t I sit in a chair with my back to the wall, so I can see danger coming, like a normal person would. Or would that be the paranoid kind? Who cares, I hate the way I’m sitting right now, but I’m afraid to move, so on with the dream already!)

I know it is the ninja robot, there to kill me. Why? Because I witnessed it killing the man that created it? I don’t know and I don’t want to find out. I start walking around in my living room like nothing is the matter, but I take my keys in hand, making as little noise with them as possible. I open the first door, come into some sort of extra room and have to get through another set of doors to get out of the house. I put my key in the lock and notice something black in the backyard. It heard me using my keys, knew what I was doing and went outside to wait for me there! What do I do now?

I decide to call the cops. Lucky for me dreams and movies work around time issues, because it only takes a second for the cops to arrive. They see the robot and drive up real close to it. The robot laughs (a human evil laugh, hear it come from an evil black Wall-E and try not to be scared, I dare you). It warns the cops to retreat or it will use a bomb. The cops reaction: “don’t be so stupid, you’ll be blown away as well.” This is how the robot knows they are not going to listen. A blast follows. The cops burn to a crisp and turn into a pile of dust (movie style). The Robot laughs again, turns around and looks me dead in the eye. I’m doomed.

At this point I wake up. At least I didn’t get killed, but I think I’ll be on the lookout for a while, just in case.


New year, bad start part one

The new year arrived, but two posts didn’t. Not because they couldn’t find the new year, but because I didn’t write them, or more correctly, because I didn’t write them completely. I had part of the second one, but things happened. I’ll come back to that later.

You didn’t hear from me the first week, because I decided to take a week off. Why. Nothing to tell, no interesting dreams, nothing. No that’s not completely true. The dreams were interesting, but I couldn’t remember them well enough. The only thing I know for sure is that I was running away from something in all of them and one of them made me think of stranger things, like I was in an episode or something.

I had one thing to share, but that could wait. It was about the last day of 2019. As you might have read before I always ride my bike to work and back and I’m afraid of fireworks. Fine combination on the last day of the year. You might think I would think ahead and take a bus, but then I wouldn’t be me, so no, I didn’t and I had a whole day to think about the ride home, since not long after arriving at work I heard the first fireworks explode.

The time to go home grew nearer and I felt more and more like sleeping at work and canceling all plans that we had made. The day brought loads of explosions and almost as many sirens in answer. I had to go through that madness! I decided to take the back roads, thinking kids would definitely be “playing” with their fireworks in the streets. They where, sure enough, but that doesn’t take away the fact that there are larger ‘kids’ on the fields I passed.

I paddled like crazy to get home as fast as I could, my mum on the phone (hands free) to keep me calm. She had a lot of “oh f*ck” in her ear. Luckily she understands fear. I kept her updated about how far along I was. My street was almost in view… Then fear struc even worse. There were so many loud bangs coming from our street! I told myself I had to go and so I went. Once inside my heart did everything it could to pass through my rib cage, muscles, skin and everything else it needed to pass to get out of my body. Luckily I’m not as fragile as I sometimes feel, because my body kept my heart from escaping. Phew.

I put on some nice clothes and make-up. My partner arrived in time and freshened up as well and off we went. Into the mist. Yes mist. So many people where playing with fireworks, while not much could be seen. I am sure they did it to scare me, it was all about freeing my heart from my chest. But guess what…. I won. If I can I’ll put up another blog today or soon. This week you deserve two. Let’s see if I’ll come through.

Love dreamer

The days in between

So Christmas is done… Just a few days left and this year is done. 2020 wil be a fact. Just a couple of days left. Am I proud of this year? No idea. Proud enough I guess. I didn’t do things that will forever be classified as bad as far as I remember.

Christmas brought three days of people and food. To much I know, so I behaved and didn’t eat until there was no room left. I ate just enough, and to be honest, I’m pretty proud of that! It is a necessity, but still, I was able to hold back, that’s something to be proud about. Even if you know you don’t want to get heavier, it is something else to actually act on it.

Another first for me…. I actually played a game. And what’s even more baffling…. I actually liked it. We had friends over at Christmas Eve. They know I hate playing games, because I am hate losing and ruin everyone’s day/evening as a result. But they had acquired a new game, send me a message upfront, asking if they could/should bring it. Since it was a game where all players would have to work together to win from the game I agreed.

These friends like social experiments, and my partner and me became one. I have to agree, it was a successful experiment! We lost twice, but won the third try. It was past midnight when our friends left. Lucky for them we won the third time around, because I would have kept them until we would have. Even if we would have to cancel every other Christmas or New year’s Eve appointment!

The next two days we spent with our families. Two more lovely days, but still no spirit (see last week’s blog). Let’s hope New year’s Eve will bring a bit more spirit. For now I’m pretty proud I played a game. I would even like to do that again, so thank you friends (you know who you are) for a new experience. Until next year everyone. Hope you all have a good time

Love, dreamer